He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sorry about my life...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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