I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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