i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize