For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
