My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
