do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
