so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
