so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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