she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize