Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize