my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
