My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
