just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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