either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
