You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
