Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
