why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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