I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
