Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
