D3 body, D1 cock
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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