Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
