If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
