wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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