I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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