oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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