Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
