I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
