btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he fucked my hip out of place.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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