I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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