Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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