I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
