this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
