The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
