I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What a dumb baby whore.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
