I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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