Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
