What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
