My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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