It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
