I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
