whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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