We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
