Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
