Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
