Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
