is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize