Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
