let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
