My hand turned me down
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
