Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
