Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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