is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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