don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How naked do you want me to be?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
