no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
