I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
