he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
