First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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