Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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