I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
