he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
