My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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