So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
