you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
