Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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