Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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