Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
