No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
50% drunk capacity currently
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
